Cheeeky!!

BEWARE OF THE AUNT ON FB!!

A spate of recent happenings has compelled me to venture into thinking about a saucy, ketchuppy piece as this well quite unlike me but let say to break the monotony. I guess 1/6th of humanity is hooked to fb but the most interesting group of users apart from the lovebirds coming up with almost crappy expression of love(cant live without u, tears in eyes, miss u ilu blah blah ) it’s actually funny to see relationship status change frm complicated to hooked cooked and booked to again Its complicated and then some scorns to the poor erstwhile sweetheart…well this what all of us see and know and sometimes enjoyyy well am not a sadist!! then the types who will chirp good morning to all on fb as if we care, the jobless artists find a noble place to show their abstract modern art to the world and yes fb embraces it with gazillions of likes and comments from self proclaimed art critics…and I can write a theses on it but the group that fascinates me the most is the coterie 40+ aunts of mine who can spot a faux Burberry bag better than the man crossing the road in front of their mercs and have found fb as the ultimate destination to flaunt. “Who carried the jimmy choo bag to the farm luncheon , who has the maximum Gucci’s ,they can argue, in fact for hours whether a chaupad, Versace or a lowly Guess would provide the best protection from glare…the perfume industry should try an app so that the Elizabeth Arden aunts can flaunt that too, alas science hasn’t progressed that much but still they would wish their hubbys could do something about that…and all this is a perfect recipe for me being thrown out of the next winter sun farm picnic….but anyways I don’t mind I DON’T LIVE IN DELHI..but there is more to it, they can actually put amar singh and jayalalitha to shame when it comes to politics, well its quite often for these aunts to put pics of their recent brunches and lunches and gossipy outings to the opulent nope I would say extravagant high street malls of Delhi. While all my lovely aunts had a gala time gorging (naa I gorge but they love their petite portions at exorbitant dollar prices yes they calculate in dollars, too used to vacations abroad) so chewing at a celebrity hangout, and as a routine fb was flooded with chic pics frm the day!! Nothing unusual (absolutely!!)….HMM grab a breath you are about to enter the aunty world (I guess they would require their own Space time system itself) what followed...HHOOOHHHOO I can still sometimes feel the tremors….one of my lovliest aunt was LEFT OUT FOR THE LUNCH everyone inadvertently forgot to invite her…(fishy!!) it is no rocket science to guess the next logical step yes the DELETE FRIEND button was quite generously made use of…and as per my sources in bharti, Vodafone and some satellite phone services providers( yes they need secure lines to discuss the next launch of 

Salvatore Ferragamo

!!) they clocked more hours on the phone in a single day than president bush had in his 10 years…(GOI is planning to bring a special legislation to regulate cell phone usage lest all lines will be jammed by the ever bursting aunty talk!!) The next step fix the blame…WHO ?? . Suddenly a lot of chatter about my lovely aunt not being invited was put on the most bizarre reasons..

She’s too fat, is a gossip mongeror , is too pompous, is brand ki dukaan, is way too intelligent…has been buying the same stilettos to balance her looffah like self, as I bought, gobbles all the desert, is too flirty, is very foolishly unintelligent, talks greek to me, has a wonderful pug, didn’t invite me for her poodles 5th birthday bash….

All this trickled to the lady in question……( they recorded a 9 on richter that day)

Another round of claims, counter claims, allegations of backbiting with everyone vehemently refuting whatever they had said earlier started to fly in all directions( like the LV bag fight..no they have graduated from pillow fights)…all vouching for the truth after all all of them were disciples of Bhagwati Amanya Devi..(Don’t know her, a brief intro: Settled in Cannes, former supermodel for Giorgio Armani, now conducts SATSANG in partnership with Paris Hilton)….

UFF!! I return to my Uni..but the story continues….(Picture abhi baaki hai mere doston!! quoting my sharukh obsessed aunt)

It’s the Festive seasons round the corner and my Dad throws his birthday bash and yes here everyone is invited with no scope for errors…all turn up for the final wrestelmania showdown since my dearest aunt is also very much invited…there is much expected buzz in the auntyland.

What happens next any guesses???

No medanta medicity didn’t get any new emergency cases that night, neither were the private guards disturbed any bit. After a few snubs and ignores the urge to tell about the newly acquired diamond tiaras, or the exotic greek holiday, the latest designer showroom collection in Emporio, the limited edition Rolex took over and broke the ice in aunty land!!!!

Well ALLL IZZ WELL now and I just heard that the lovely aunt has invited the whole gang for a Dinner bash at her place….afterall a fish can live with a fish only..

GROW UP YOU LOVELY LADIES…

“PEOPLE WHO FLAUNT THEIR BUCK SHOW THE POVERTY OF CHARACTER”